I feel like motherhood is what my world revolves around these days. Before Meredith, I would have very simply described myself as, “Abby Thomas”… nowadays, I feel like I relate more to being “Meredith’s mom”. That is one of the titles that I am most proud of, but I do feel like I have almost lost myself to this title… that’s something I am definitely working on, especially in the season of my life where I am weaning from nursing Meredith, and she is starting daycare (something I have mixed feelings about!) but I do miss having my own identity, and although I genuinely love being a mom more than anything in the entire world, I also love really knowing myself and what MY hopes and goals and dreams are.
For 13.5 months, my days have revolved around nursing, playing, teaching, nursing, nap time, baby talk, nursing, redirecting…you get it. My life has been 100% about spending my time with my beautiful baby girl. I am extremely blessed that my career has allowed me to work remotely from my phone, with the occasional night & weekend showing/open house. This has made it so that Meredith has been home with me up to this point, and if need be, has gone to hang out at the office with her dad or grandma. With this, I chose to nurse almost exclusively, which if you’ve ever nursed a baby/toddler, you know that this can feel like a second full time job.
Motherhood is incredible–and I am so thankful to God that I am Meredith’s Mom. I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to be there for her first smile and laugh, the first time she said mama and dada, the first time she rolled over and her first time crawling and taking steps. I have been able to be there for the important things that I never wanted to miss. Being a mom has made me really value time and the “little things”. Now, it is time for me to learn how to balance time away from my mini me with still making the most of our moments together.
I have learned over the last year that I LOVE being a mom, but I want to be Abby Thomas, with Meredith’s mom being a part of who I am, not who I am entirely. I have so many other great qualities, and I’m excited to re-explore those qualities as I transition to having a toddler in daycare, and a little more time to myself 😉